Ocarina of Time - Collecting Spiritual Stones

You know, there is still something special to me about when you first turn on Ocarina of Time. The music just really sets me up for the game. I love seeing Link riding Epona across Hyrule field in the opening. It just works. It is a feeling that I don't ever think will dissipate. No matter how many times I've seen that screen, it evokes the same feelings. It is the same with Hyrule field in the child Link part of game. Something about it really connects with me. The open spaces, the soft tune, the feeling of everything still being.... innocent. Everything hasn't gone to hell in a hand basket yet and aside from the complete absence of travelers, you could see your self living there. It's a nice feeling. Well, there are some parts I could do without...

Thanks, TVTropes, for this accurate depiction of the bane of OoT players!

So, where did we leave off? Oh yes! After you meet the princess, you get to be the hero that Hyrule needs and the one it deserves. You go to your trusted friend Saria to tell her you are gonna save the world, and she teaches you one of the most fun songs in the game. I always wonder why fans ship Link/Zelda in this game, because I feel if my crazy tinfoil hat theory of Saria raising Link is incorrect (which is highly likely as my theory has zero evidence), I think they are who belong together. They obviously care about each other; let them be together, folks! Of course, not that it matters later on....

Once you go to Kakariko village, you meet the guard who stands over the gate to Death Mountain. He laughs at the (conspicuous) note Zelda writes for you, then lets you through anyway. After all, it's not like there is a reason to guard the gate to an active volcano, and sure, a nine year old can go play in it! Those crazy kids! Oh, but of course, he needs a favor- Could you go get his kid one of those Pikachu  Keaton masks from the new Mask Shop in Hyrule Market?
Thus letting you meet one of the creepiest characters in the Zelda franchise.

Make sure you ALWAYS bring his money.

At least by dropping the guard's name you get 30 Rupees off a Hylian Shield, right? Afterwards, you go and meet the Gorons, a rock-eating race whose source of food has been cut off by Ganondorf. Well, they could eat other rocks, but don't because they have "gourmet" taste buds. One Goron literally tells you that. But whatevs, I need their Spiritual Stone, their Patriarch Darunia is pretty cool, and I get Bombs, so it's all good. I'm not sure if this has ever been discussed, but there is a complete lack of female Gorons. Well, there are no discernible females. They do reproduce though, so they must exist, right?  Come on Nintendo, throw us a lady rock eater. Also, the Gorons live in a kind of self-imposed isolation. Why? A few of their issues might be fixed if they interacted with the other citizens of Hyrule. Unless, the guards job isn't to keep people OUT of Death Mountain..... I'm getting so tinfoiley right now.

So you defeat the King Dodongo (in a pretty gruesome way), and head to get the last Spiritual Stone from the Zoras, and type of fish people. They also live separate from the Hylians, but I have a feeling that is because they need to live in water. So I'll give them a pass. You find out that their Princess, Ruto, is missing. Also, you meet a business man who is deep into supply and demand, after every "magic bean" you buy from him the price goes up 10 rupees due to it  "surging in popularity". All the while he is eating on his product.

He makes Donald Trump proud.

You find out Ruto is in the Zora's guardian god, a whale (?) named Jabu-Jabu. You go in to rescue her, and find out she isn't exactly up for being rescued.

She makes your job a lot harder by making you carry her all over the dungeon and berating you if you do anything she doesn't like, such as put her down and go into a room without her to kill all the monsters so she isn't attacked. That kind of horrid thing. After she finds what she lost in Jabu-Jabu (her mom's "sapphire") she ends up being eaten by something and you gotta go find her again. May I take this time to add that even the Child Link part follows the pattern of Water Temples being ridiculously aggravating and rage-inducing. You finally save her, and then in order to get the sapphire- which is the Spiritual Stone- you promise to marry her down later in life. Yep, better throw Link a bachelor party, cause he is engaged!

After promising your future to her without understanding that is what you are doing- which let me say, I wonder if this is some sort of joke about men and marriage- you go to find Zelda and stop Ganondorf. Oops! You are almost to to Hyrule Castle when.... CUTSCENE! Turns out ol' Ganondorf got the first move. Zelda escaped with Impa, but first tossing you the Ocarina of Time while on horseback with a throw that would make any quarterback jealous. Ganondorf is after them on his black destrier but loses them and stops to chat with you. You get ready for a throwdown, and he likes your spunk. So much so that instead of obliterating you with his powers, he just knocks you down and rides off into the distance after our Princess. Child Link is pretty badass for standing up to him though, and gives a look that says, "I'm gonna f*#% you up."

Don't forget, now is the perfect time to do a couple of other small, but necessary things. I like to to go to the graveyard in Kakariko Village and get the Sun's Song, go to Lon Lon Ranch and get Epona's song, maybe do some mask hawki- I mean selling. I love Lon Lon Ranch. Malon is so sweet and she is my second choice for Link's girlfriend. But let's be honest, there is no need for me to even think about that kind of thing because a) They are 9 years old at this point, and b) it's not gonna happen. And while I joke about it, some people are really into it.

So this is the end of Child Link's journey. I'd love to discuss anything about this part with you guys, that means theories (as is obvious, I love tinfoil!), changes, trivia, and what the hell, I'll talk about ships too! Ta-ta for now!